Joni Miller, Ph.D.

At 18 years old, I sat in a minister's office trying to make sense of what he was saying. The spring sunlight streamed through a window and the petals of a flowering tree floated in the gentle breeze. I relayed an encounter I had with a Christian evangelizer on campus, who said that my Catholic friend wasn't really Christian and that those who didn't believe would end up in hell. The minister said that some believed only Christians were allowed in heaven.

I was flabbergasted. A God who excludes is not a God I could worship.

This belief has not wavered since that day. Although I stayed connected with Christianity, I accepted all forms of spirituality and religion, with the glaring exception of those who believed theirs' was the only path to the Divine. I realized I was being hypocritical - accepting everyone except those who didn't accept others. However, I didn't resolve that hypocrisy until recently.

The pull of spirituality followed me even as I pursued "practical" careers. I didn't have a clear career goal in college so I wandered into things I was good at rather than find something that spoke to my heart. I started out studying aerospace engineering at Virginia Tech but disliked the precision of engineering and switched to math education, not because I wanted to be a teacher but because getting my degree in math education instead of math let me skip a lot of science courses and graduate on time.

One terrible semester teaching math in high school. Another two years working at an entry level job with a government contractor. Then back to school. If I was going to be in business, I felt I should get an MBA. Off to University of Michigan for two years. 16 more years working as a government contractor, miserable, unhappy, stressed but good at my job. I prayed daily, "God, show me the next step and give me the courage to take it." After years of that prayer the next step was suddenly crystal clear and I quit my job, returning to school once again in my mid 40s to get a masters and PhD in Pastoral Counseling, which means I was trained as a professional counselor but received additional training in religion and spirituality.

I found my dissertation research by following my curiosity. As a long-time LGBTQ ally, I was curious about the religiously conservative students in the Pastoral Counseling Department who were expressing concern about counseling LGBTQ clients. I wanted to understand their struggle and so conducted interviews with conservative Christian counseling students who expressed religious concerns about working with LGBTQ clients.

The research was fascinating. I found myself having empathy for my participants whose main concern was, "Am I betraying my faith?" for either agreeing to counsel LGBTQ or changing their beliefs about LGBTQ. The data was rich, my conclusions were interesting, and I felt I could be a bridge between those who were wrestling with these faith issues and the counseling profession whose ethical code requires accepting LGBTQ clients.

After graduation I started my business, Spiritual Geography. I developed a tool, the Spiritual Geography Card Sort, to help foster exploration of personal faith in a way that leaves specific religious beliefs out of the discussion. I decided to focus on helping people use their personal spirituality to improve their mental health and relationships, rather than working as a counselor. Through my Spiritual Geography workshops and private sessions, I've talked to hundreds of people about their personal spirituality. I've seen how a connection to the Transcendent can provide stability, an anchor keeping someone safe in stormy seas. Anchors are designed to move, however, and people's spirituality evolves over the course of their lives.

Through these explorations of spirituality, I finally resolved my hypocrisy about being open to all spiritual belief systems except those that are exclusionary. I have come to believe that the only way I can evaluate someone’s spirituality is by looking at the fruits of their spirituality. How does the person act, what does the person do as a result of believing what they believe? For example, a belief in the inherent divinity of every living thing could bring someone love and joy and inspire them to act with kindness toward other people and toward nature.

And it’s not just spiritual beliefs that can bear fruit. Some spiritual practices have physical and psychological benefits. Meditation can lower blood pressure. Performing a given ritual may help someone feel more at peace or more connected to the Infinite. It doesn’t matter if the ritual is communion in a church or a new moon ritual in a backyard. My judgment about the merits of the ritual, if I have any, doesn’t mean the ritual isn’t providing some spiritual or psychological value to the person in question.

I certainly can’t judge someone’s spirituality by whether it’s right or wrong, since the Divine is infinite and we can only see and know a miniscule part of that which is Transcendent.

My resolution of my previous hypocrisy comes down to two questions:

(1) how does the person’s spirituality, spiritual beliefs, or spiritual practices help them? And (2) does their spirituality, spiritual beliefs, or spiritual practices hurt them or anyone else in any way?

I can accept spirituality that is life-giving and reject spirituality that harms. No hypocrisy required.

Presentations|Speaking Engagements

Guest Speaker (2024, October). We are Here! (meow, woof, oink, moo, neigh, caw, quack). Worship Service for Rockville United Church, Rockville, Maryland.

Speaker (2024, June). Visioning for the Vision-less. Fulfill Your Calling Online Summit.

Guest Speaker (2024, April). The Benefit of a Doubt. Worship Service for Zion Reformed United Church of Christ, Hagerstown, Maryland.

Guest Lecturer (2024, March). Personal Spiritual Exploration Seminars. Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, Maryland.

Guest Speaker (2024, March). Telling a New Story ... of Love. Worship Service for Rockville United Church, Rockville, Maryland.

Guest Speaker (2023, October). I Married a Bug Lover. Worship Service for Rockville United Church, Rockville, Maryland.

Guest Speaker (2023, April). The Benefit of a Doubt. Worship Service for Rockville United Church, Rockville, Maryland.

Workshop Leader (2022, November). Spiritual Geography: A Spiritual and Religious Values Card Sort. Zoom workshop with Moravian Theological Seminary.

Guest Speaker (2022, March). It's Not About a Goat. Worship Service for Rockville United Church, Rockville, Maryland.

Workshop Leader (2020, August). Stress Reduction through Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping). Zoom workshop for Rockville United Church, Rockville, Maryland.

Workshop Leader (2020, June). Spiritual Geography: A Spiritual and Religious Values Card Sort. Wednesdays at 7 Program for Rockville United Church, Rockville, Maryland.

Guest Speaker (2020, June). Through a Glass Dimly. Worship Service for Rockville United Church, Rockville, Maryland.

Guest Speaker (2019, September). Praying in Secret. Worship Service at Rockville United Church, Rockville, Maryland.

Guest Speaker (2019, June). Coming Home. Workshop Service at Mt. Zion United Methodist Church, Finksburg, Maryland.

Guest Speaker (2019, April). Gratitude Interrupted. Worship Service at Rockville United Church, Rockville, Maryland.

Workshop Leader (2019, February). Spiritual Geography: A Spiritual and Religious Values Card Sort. Furloughed Friends Series at Rockville United Church, Rockville, Maryland.

Guest Speaker (2018, December). Dividing Lines. Blue Christmas Service at Rockville United Church, Rockville, Maryland.

Guest Lecturer (2018, October; 2017, March; 2016, May; 2015, December, November). Spiritual Geography: A Spiritual and Religious Values Card Sort. Lectures in various counseling classes at Loyola University Maryland.

Presenter (2017, March). Building Bridges: How to talk about values-based referrals with other counselors. Presentation given at the American Counseling Association conference in San Francisco, CA.

Retreat Leader (2017, March). Telling Our Stories: Turning Points. RUC Women’s Retreat, Flintstone, Maryland.

Workshop Leader (2017, February). Why the Truth Doesn’t Matter. Speaking in a way that leads to changes of heart and mind. Workshop at Rockville United Church, Rockville, Maryland.

Workshop Leader (2017, January). How can I forgive when I feel like screaming? Workshop given at the 2017 Gay Christian Network Conference held in Pittsburgh, PA.

Co-presenter with Hanna, H. (2016, November). Laying down our swords in dialogue. Presentation given at the American Association of Pastoral Counselors, Atlantic Region, Fall meeting held in Aston, Pennsylvania.

Workshop Leader (2016, January). Building Bridges: Using counseling concepts for self-insight, improved communication, and breaking down the barriers between us. Workshop given at the 2016 Gay Christian Network Conference held in Houston, TX.

Presenter (2015, October). Engaging counselor-in-training values (even the religious ones). Presentation given at the Association for Counselor Education and Supervision conference in Philadelphia, PA.

Co-presenter with Schreiber-Pan, H. (2015, October). Creating value-savvy counselors: How to connect with clients of diverse backgrounds and sexual orientations. Presentation given at the Association for Counselor Education and Supervision conference in Philadelphia, PA.

Co-presenter with Cheston, S. (2015, July). Religious counselors, LGB clients: Supporting counselor growth in theological & counselor identities. Presentation given at the Association for Spiritual, Ethical, and Religious Values in Counseling in New York, NY.

Guest Lecturer (2015, March; 2014, October, June, March; 2013, December). Religious and Spiritual Aspects of Working with LGBTQIA clients. Lectures in Diversity Issues in Counseling classes at Loyola University Maryland.

Presenter (2014, December). Religious therapists, Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual clients: When personal religious values conflict with client actions. Presentation for the Psychology Department Colloquium, Loyola University Maryland in Baltimore, MD.

Co-presenter with Schreiber-Pan, H. (2014, November). Creating Cross-Cultural Counselors: How to Connect with clients of Diverse Backgrounds and Sexual Orientations. Presentation given at the American Association of Pastoral Counselors, Atlantic Region, Fall Meeting held in Columbia, MD.

Co-presenter with Greene, G. (2014, November). Anti-racism/Multicultural Justice Presentation. Presentation given at the American Association of Pastoral Counselors, Atlantic Region, Fall Meeting held in Columbia, MD.

Guest Lecturer (2014, September). Perspectives on Protestantism. Lecture in Contemporary Religious Perspective class at Loyola University Maryland.

Presenter (2013, November). Counselor Theological Identity and the Response to Value-Based Conflicts over Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Clients. Presentation given at Annual Interdisciplinary Conference at the Center for the Study of Health, Religion, and Spirituality at Indiana State University held in Terre Haute, IN.

Presenter (2013, November). Counselor and Theological Identity Formation and the Ethic of Inclusion for Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Clients. Poster session at the Annual Interdisciplinary Conference at the Center for the Study of Health, Religion, and Spirituality at Indiana State University held in Terre Haute, IN.

Co-presenter with Schreiber-Pan, H. (2013, November). Bridging the Gap: Respecting your religious beliefs and being an effective pastoral counselor with LGBT clients. Presentation at Loyola University Maryland.

Panel Moderator (2013, November). Intervening to Promote Forgiveness: Religious and cultural applications to pastoral counseling. Session at the 2013 Atlantic Region American Association of Pastoral Counselors meeting in Columbia, Maryland.

Presenter (2013, November). Counselor and Theological Identity Formation and the Ethic of Inclusion for Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Clients. Poster session at the 2013 Atlantic Region American Association of Pastoral Counselors meeting in Columbia, Maryland.

Co-presenter with Braganza, D. (2013, April). The Changing Face of Spirituality. Presentation as part of the Diversity Awareness Series at Loyola University Maryland.

Co-presenter with Lemons, M. & Maynard, E. (2012, September). Ethics, Theology, and Service to LGBTQ Clients. Presentation given at the 2012 Conference of the Southern Association for Counselor Education and Supervision (SACES), held in Savannah, GA.

Presenter (2012, September). Religious Counselors, LGBT Clients: Supporting counselor identity development and ethical practice. Presentation given at the 2012 Conference of the Southern Association for Counselor Education and Supervision (SACES), held in Savannah, GA.

Publications

Miller, J. L. (2017). Room at the Table. Column in Interaction, the quarterly magazine of the Association for Spiritual, Ethical, and Religious Values in Counseling, as division of the American Counseling Association. Winter 2017, Spring 2017, Summer 2017, and Fall 2017.

Miller, J. L. (2015). Understanding pastoral counseling research. In E. A. Maynard & J. L. Snodgrass (Eds.), Understanding Pastoral Counseling. NY: Springer Publishing Company.

Miller, J.L. (2014). Counselor and Theological Identity Formation and the Ethic of Inclusion for Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Clients. Available from ProQuest Dissertations and Theses database.

Cheston, S. E., & Miller, J. L. (2011). The use of prayer in counseling. In C. S. Cashwell & J. Young (Eds.) , Integrating spirituality and religion into counseling: A guide to competent practice (2nd ed.) (pp. 243-260). Alexandria, VA: American Counseling Association.